Poem #12: Somedays

 Somedays, I hide from my pain.
 Curling my body into the tiniest shape imaginable, and humming a song about love
 to keep the delicate threads holding me together from collapse.
 And somedays I run from my pain,
 breathless from the storm of stressful and the piles of work I'm racing to get through.
 But other days I need to feel my pain,
 like an ocean wave slamming against my bones, pure cold water breaking on my skin.
 I need to crash through the wall of my numbness, burn through the dullness of my aching heart,
 and let my tears fall like rain into the ocean.

Day 11: Swimming

 I'm trying to stay afloat,
 I'm working on not drowning,
 Tomorrow I'll stop and smell the roses, but today
 I'm focusing on swimming.

Day 10: Window to the Soul

  Eyes are the window to the soul
  If you look into them you just might know,
  The pain of my heart, the hope in my chest,
  The words I am speaking won't pass the truth test,
  If you have the courage to just look inside,
  the things that you'll see won't be able to hide,
  but most won't take the chance to look that deep,
  afraid that discomfort will wake from it's sleep,
  something they don't have the knowledge to name,
  something that they think will be cause for shame.
  Why don't we reach out in love and in care?
  Why so much fear of the truth we don't share?

Day 9: The Puddle & the Ocean

 She looks into the waters, the surface cool and smooth
 a longing hits her heart to dive in,
 to be enveloped by waves of pure depth.

 Mystery of ocean, magic spell spun by the rippling surface,
 she is wildly in love with the idea of swimming.
 No hesitance precedes the dive, as she plummets headfirst into the cold and sweet embrace so  breathlessly hoped for.

 How could she have known how quickly she would hit rock bottom?
 Stunning reality jars her body as she lands.
 The water is only a few feet deep.

 She aches for depth, she breathes for the cold splash of authenticity.
 Turns out he was only a puddle, and she needed an ocean to keep her full

Day 8: How Rude

You once

lent me a laugh

then you stole my heart too

I didn't want you to take it

How rude.

Day 7: Demons

 Whispering distractions,
 threading doubt through my hair,
 ever so gently robbing me
 of peace of mind.

 As if by a subtle breeze my thoughts are pulled in a million different directions,
 before plummeting into the abyss called "I forgot what important means"

 Surface pictures and words,
 spinning the wheels uselessly in my brain,
 I jump to conclusions, but they offer nothing to hold on to
 and so I fall,
 back into the dark lap of my demons.

Day 6: Far Too Easily

 I've got a lonely heart
 that's bound to fall in love far too easily.
 Catching at the good in people like a prism catches rainbows from the light,
 and holding it tight as the world keeps turning.

 I've got an honest soul
 that doesn't understand the complexities and facades others use to hide
 and simply wants to knit itself with, and truly know another soul
 inside and out.

 I've got a dreamy mind
 that romanticizes situations
 seeing them with a golden pink skyline above when their reality is a bland horizon,
 imagining love like a pearl too deep in the ocean to find.

 But love is messy and sometimes hurtful,
 awkwardly beautiful in it's ugly and tenderly sweet in it's bitter.
 Love is a paradox of human experience,
 and some give up, saying the puzzle is too hard to put together.

 Not me. I've got a persistent spirit, determined to wait for a
 heart
         soul
                mind as loving and honest and dreamy and star dotted as mine
                          and when I do, then we'll figure out the puzzle together.